


Personal

by Sinister_Kid



Series: Lion, 9:41 Dragon [11]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Developing Relationship, Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - Before the Dawn, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:02:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21662623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinister_Kid/pseuds/Sinister_Kid
Summary: Cullen and Adaar discuss the investigation into Samson's activities.
Relationships: Male Adaar/Cullen Rutherford, Male Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford
Series: Lion, 9:41 Dragon [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1157210
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	Personal

**Author's Note:**

> The next few ficlets in this series will mostly consist of quest related events, but there will be some slight non canon and banter between these two that will lead up to the scene I know you guys have been waiting for. Yeah, you know the one. That one. On the battlements. That scene. Yep.

Having Dorian to confide in about his attraction to the Inquisitor had worked to lift a weight off the Commander that he didn’t even know he’d been shouldering those months since working with the kossith. But there was just something about the private conversation shared in utmost confidence with the mage that eased a tension in Cullen in the days to follow. While Ataashi was never too far from his thoughts still, he was better able to concentrate more on the work they were doing, and less on his budding feelings for the man, after such a weight being lifted from his shoulders.

It was different than his conversations with the Seeker. Granted, Cassandra was a remarkable woman, and having her support was greatly appreciated, but there was something about having Dorian to confide in that made him infinitely grateful. He supposed it was because Dorian was a man who also harbored attraction to other men, and for the first time since realizing his feelings for Inquisitor Adaar were romantic, he’d had someone who genuinely understood his dilemma. Not a word of what was said left the garden that day, but Cullen left feeling relieved.

But he was distracted by work, the progress on the Keep, and the constant worry of what danger they were hurling at Adaar every time they sent him on an expedition. The exhaustion from all the endless reports, the late nights spent burning both ends of the candle, and all the stress, made the sickeningly sweet song of Lyrium all that much more tempting. Knowing that the cool blue liquid touching his lips would grant his body the false perception of having been revitalized made him desperately crave it. He settled for coffee, tea, and sugary sweets instead. Wine when he was particularly insufferable.

It was like a constant itch in his blood that no matter how much he scratched at it, there was simply no relief, but endless hours of signing reports, and hours spent in the training yard with his soldiers, did well enough to keep him distracted. By the time the Inquisitor returned, he was back to feeling the most like himself that he had in quite some time, and he knew without a doubt that he owed Ataashi Adaar a very thorough and heartfelt apology upon returning. He would hope at the very least they’d be back to speaking terms by the end of it, if it weren’t already too late.

When Adaar finally returned from his latest expedition, a war horn sounding to signal his arrival, the Commander and several others greeted him at the gate. An armored charger was reined in, rearing onto two hind legs and whinnying as Adaar halted the beast just inside. The sight of the massive figure atop an equally startling mount stole Cullen’s breath away momentarily. But he quickly recovered as Ataashi dismounted and handed off the reins to Dennet, who led the horse back to the stables. Cassandra, Varric and Solas were not too far behind in dismount.

“Inquisitor,” the Commander greeted formally, in front of so many eyes watching them.

“Commander,” he grunted in turn, and Cullen steeled his resolve. He owed Ataashi Adaar a sufficient explanation for his recent actions, but upon seeing the kossith looking so rough and exhausted, he thought better than to do so right that second. He drank in the sight of the giant looking battered and worn from both fighting and travel. His investigation into Samson had lead him across Orlais, from the Emerald Graves all the way to snowy Emprise Du Lion, and Sahrnia’s Quarry nestled in the mountainous region. Cullen had read all the reports to come out of the place.

Apparently a demon had taken up residence in the quarry, and not just any demon, but a very powerful one. There was little detail in the report save for the demon’s ultimate demise, but he could only imagine what the experience must have been like for the apostate mage. To be tempted by a demon was anyone’s worst fear, but especially theirs. And to be ruled by a demon was Cullen’s worst fear for the Inquisitor. He shuddered in remembrance of his own dealings with them in the past as a Templar. Then he swallowed the lump in his throat.

He thought perhaps he would have to be the one to ask Ataashi for a moment of his time in private, thinking at first the man would continue to avoid him, but he stood corrected when his deep baritone rumbled, as he said, “We need to talk. Your office, preferably.”

Cullen floundered for a moment in confusion. “Whatever it is, it can wait,” he said. “You’ve only just arrived, and look exhausted. You should rest first.”

He then backed up in step when Ataashi took a menacing step forward and said, “We need to talk _now_ , Cullen. It _can’t_ wait.”

Cullen sighed, giving him a once over with his eyes. There was no arguing with the Inquisitor when he took such a tone with anyone. _Maker but how I’ve missed that voice_. He had a feeling he’d like to hear whatever Ataashi had to say, at any rate. He looked beyond their quarter for a moment to spare a glance at Cassandra, who gave no indication she even knew what this was about, then his eyes slid back up to the Inquisitor’s. “Alright, my office then,” he heralded, waving for the colossal brute to follow him up the steps leading to the watch tower. 

Once inside, he understood Ataashi’s need for urgency, and privacy, as he pulled a stack of parchment out of his black battlemage coat and handed the papers out to Cullen. Then he leaned on his staff like a walking stick as Cullen read the words. He noticed the Dragon’s ornate staff had finally been replaced with a brand new one. Leave it to Herrit to manage to escape Haven with the weapon schematic still intact. A new metallic stave plated gold with a dragon perched atop was propped up in Ataashi’s grip as he watched Cullen read the letters.

“Samson’s been growing Red Lyrium out of people?!” Cullen exclaimed finally, with utter disgust. The horned giant nodded gravely.

“It’s just like Redcliffe,” he spoke. “I think this is how it all got started in that alternate future. I didn’t think information like this should go into the report. I mean that’s just…yeah. Thought it better to discuss it in private first. The quarry and all the Red Lyrium have been destroyed. We saved what people we could. Unfortunately the trail ends there though. I couldn’t get any information from Isthmael either. And I wasn’t about to make a deal with him for it. But the letters also mention a Tranquil, named Maddox, who’s been working for Samson. Who is he, exactly?”

Cullen held his breath for a moment, summoning words, then exhaled as he said, “Maddox is the Tranquil that Samson had been smuggling letters for. Maddox was the…the reason he’d been expelled from the Order.”

So it only made sense that Maddox should be working for him, even though he was no longer capable of any emotional attachment to the former Templar. The two of them still had a personal history with one another that Samson could take advantage of, and he was familiar with Maddox’s talents as an enchanter. It would only make sense that Samson should have Maddox craft his Red Lyrium armor. But luckily they now had an arcane craftsman as well. The arcanist, a dwarf named Dagna, that had been studying samples of Red Lyrium in hopes of reversing its effects.

“Do you think Maddox could be reasoned with?” Ataashi asked. “Being that he’s Tranquil means he’s incapable of emotion, only logic and reason. Surely we could persuade him over to our side if we made him see the logic in it.”

Cullen sighed. “That would all depend on what, precisely, Samson told him in order to convince him to do this in the first place. If he finds Samson’s reasoning to be sound logic somehow, then anything we tell him will only register as absurd and inconceivable. Provided we can find him. The tools and materials he used to craft the armor had to have been purchased somewhere. Perhaps there’s a paper trail that can lead us to where those supplies were to be delivered. We find Maddox, we’ll likely find Samson as well. He would want to keep Maddox close to his side if he knew all his secrets.”

“So we figure out where he got his supplies and we’ll find Maddox? But how?”

“I’ll start with Kirkwall,” Cullen answered. “There’s a lesser known shop tucked away in the merchant's district of the city that can procure rare and unique items, and perhaps its proprietor can be persuaded to give up information on the buyer if anything was purchased there.”

“Alright,” Adaar nodded. 

He started to turn to walk away, but Cullen stopped him. “There is one thing I might mention, Inquisitor,” he said, and the horned giant turned back at those words, eyes alight with curiosity. “When we locate Samson, I’d like to accompany you on the expedition.”

“Accompany me?” he repeated, and Cullen nodded. It probably came as a shock because never before had Cullen ventured forth at the Inquisitor’s side. It had always been one or several of his numerous companions that would tag along.

“Yes, I’d like to be there when you storm his encampment.”

Adaar lifted a brow.

“This is personal for you, isn’t it?” the Inquisitor asked him, and Cullen let out a snort.

“As if the same couldn’t be said of you.”

He could see plain as day how Samson affected the horned giant, and if he could see it, no doubt others could as well.

This was _very_ personal for Inquisitor Adaar, though Maker only knew why.

“Of course it’s personal for me,” Adaar shrugged, as if the answer were plain. “Everything is personal.”

Cullen couldn’t help but huff just a little at that response. “Yes, well, I suppose the same could be said of me.”

“But you knew Samson in Kirkwall,” Adaar stated. Cullen nodded once more. Ataashi studied him for a moment. “You know,” he finally spoke, pulling his pipe from his pocket, “You seem to know an awful lot about Samson’s relationship with Maddox.” He tapped the ashes from the pipe into his hand, then dipped his finger into the bowl to pack down the remains of cured elfroot inside before summoning a bit of mana to relight it, taking a puff. The sensation of magic being casted made Cullen’s teeth tingle. Ironically, he’d _missed_ that sensation the last several weeks, in Adaar’s absence.

The Commander sighed a little and nodded at Adaar’s words. 

“That’s because I was there to see it all play out,” he admitted. “I knew Maddox even before he was branded, not as intimately as Samson, mind you, but we were acquainted, and since I was Knight-Captain at the time I was a witness to Meredith’s punishment carried out, including Samson’s expulsion.” And yet another reason to harbor resentment over not only Meredith, but the entire Order. Perhaps he’d agreed that a mage had no right to pursue a romantic relationship, at the time, but he couldn’t have imagined that such an innocent thing as writing a few love letters would lead to such harsh punishment.

“But at the time,” Cullen continued, “I thought there was nothing I could’ve done to stop it. And I was just as deluded into thinking that any punishment issued to a mage was justified. Thinking we were doing the Maker’s work.”

“You can-uh-spare me the grizzly details,” Ataashi offered, holding up a hand, and Cullen nodded, eyes downcast, staring blankly at the parchment on his desk for a moment. “But that’s part of why it’s personal, I’m guessing?” he asked, and Cullen jerked his head in a slight affirmation. Then he cleared his throat, hoping that with it, it would clear away such unpleasant memories, even if for just a moment. “So, we find Maddox, and we go from there,” the Inquisitor concluded, and again, Cullen nodded. 

“In addition to potential markets, I also know several of Samson’s and Maddox’s former associates back in Kirkwall,” he said. “Some of them are still in the city. They might also be forthcoming with information, provided we approach from the right angle. And Varric has a network of people as well that we can use. I’ll broach the issue with the Spymaster as well.”

“Sounds like a plan then. Let me know when you have something.”

“Of course, Inquisitor.” He stared at Ataashi’s back as he turned to leave yet again, but as he approached the door, Cullen couldn’t help but stop him a second time. “Was there anything else you wished to discuss?” he asked, making the giant pause near the entryway, then turn back. “I-uh-I read the report on Sahrnia. You encountered a demon?” Ataashi nodded. “I can’t imagine that was a pleasant experience.”

“No. Only killing it. Now that…that was fairly satisfying.”

“Well, if you ever needed someone to talk to, you know, about it, or anything really…” He trailed off when he saw Ataashi leaning his head curiously to the side for some unknown reason, and he remembered that they hadn’t exactly parted on the best of terms, which grated on Cullen’s nerves. It was now or never to set things right between them. “You know, before you left I… I wasn’t angry with you, Ataashi.” 

Something in the Inquisitor’s expression lightened a little upon hearing his preferred name, but only a touch. Though it was just enough to make him relax his broad shoulders. He stepped completely into the room once more, slowly approaching the desk with his arms folded.

“But you were angry at something,” he said, and Cullen nodded.

“I was, yes. But I assure you, it was nothing you said or did. Nothing you were the cause of. I’m sorry if you were led to believe otherwise. That wasn’t my intention.”

“Then what was it about?”

Now was his chance to be level with him. But he really didn’t think it would be appropriate to blurt out his feelings at this time. No. No it just wasn’t the right time. That could keep a little longer, when Cullen had it in his head precisely what he wished to say to the man. “I was… just frustrated over something, that’s all. I’ve just had a lot on my mind since Haven. It’s nothing to be concerned about.” Ataashi deflated a little, though whether he was relieved to hear that or disappointed, Cullen couldn’t tell. “You should go. I’ve taken up enough of your time, and you need to rest.”

Ataashi sighed, his expression unreadable still. “Alright.”

“We’ll meet tomorrow with the others in the war room.”

“Alright.” Again, Ataashi turned to walk away, but again, he stopped, like he forgot something. “You know, Cullen, the same goes for you. If you need to talk about things, that is…”

“I’ll bear that in mind,” he agreed, then slumped a little at his desk when Ataashi finally left.

Well, at least they were back to speaking to one another again.

Now, if only he could bring himself to find the right words to say, he’d be getting somewhere.


End file.
